S is playing Settlers 3 and is getting very excited. 'He's just touched my border, but this time, I'm ready. I'm stronger, and I'm faster, and I'm harder'. It's really very cute. I secretly get the same about Sims 2 but I keep it under my hat.
We have somehow accidentally found ourselves watching documentaries and films about people giving birth of late. I'm not sure what to make of it. It started with 'Knocked Up', which we've seen twice now, simply because it's a truly hilarious and moving and genius film. And then we watched 'Juno', which we wanted to watch because the dude from 'Superbad' was in it, and it looked kind of indie and kookie, and it was, but it was also about a teenaged girl falling pregnant and stuff. And then we stumbled upon a 'Dawn...' documentary where she watched women giving birth. Well, I say 'we'. Actually, S was pulling an all-nighter for work purposes and had the TV on in the background, and watched this 'Dawn' thing. Which he told me about the next day, including tips on how to prevent ripping. You 'work' the muscle with your finger, y'see. Anyway, this was repeated a few days later and I watched it. And now, this evening, we have watched 'Pramface Babies' on Channel 4.
It made me feel strange. I know that I am glad S doesn't run from the room screaming and being scared when these things are on TV. I also know that seeing people give birth makes me gip a bit, and also want to cry. It's a strange jumbly ball of feelings. Maybe it's that at twenty-seven I've unconsciously realised that having a, um, bee-ay-bee-why, wouldn't necessarily spell the end of the world. Until now I had always just assumed that should the unplanned happen, I'd have a termination. I hadn't considered the other option. Now it's not so scary.
Which is kind of scary.
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